Understatements
by The Soapbox Writer
Summary: To say that he hated those books was an understatement.


To say that Klaus Baudelaire liked to read was an understatement.

He didn't simply love it, he lived for it. He read any of the books he could get his hands on. It didn't matter what genre it was, or what it was about, he'd take it.

The books that Klaus was looking for were easy to find. They were everywhere, it seemed. He couldn't go a day without hearing it mentioned. The extent of it's popularity was ridiculous. He supposed that it had to be famous for a reason.

After he had purchased all four books, he headed towards home.

* * *

To say that the books had ruined vampires was an understatement.

He knew a great deal about them. He didn't mind another take on them. But this was too much. They were so far from the original vampires that he could hardly call them vampires at all.

The fact that they sparkled was enough to make him yell in frustration.

His siblings looked at him curiously.

He only gave a sigh and continued reading.

* * *

To say that the main character annoyed Klaus was an understatement.

When he was on the second book, he couldn't ignore that fact. She was never grateful for her friends and family. When the main love interest had left her, she acted as if it was the greatest tragedy of all.

Klaus and his siblings had gone through many things. He also knew what it was like to be heartbroken. But none of them spent all their time wallowing in pity. Even his little sister Sunny, who had been an infant at the time, didn't act like this girl.

When he couldn't take the narrator's whining any longer, he threw the book across the room.

"Klaus, are you all right?" asked Violet.

He nodded, then got up to retrieve the dreaded novel.

* * *

To say that he didn't like the relationship between the main characters was an understatement.

On the third book, it seemed to keep getting worse. Not only was the obsession unhealthy, but he couldn't see why they were in love in the first place. He didn't remember them getting to know each other before they got in a relationship. All Klaus saw were the shallow reasons.

The way the boy treated the girl was horrible. Breaking her car engine, having her to ask his permission to do anything like seeing her friends, and stalking her where ever she went. He hated how the girl just ate it up, as if this was perfectly normal. Klaus couldn't see why many girls wanted this to happen to them.

It took everything in him not to tear up the pages.

* * *

To say that the books bored him was an understatement.

Nothing happened. Especially in the fourth book. All it seemed to do was gush over the newborn baby that was oh so special that everyone had to love her.

Klaus didn't love that baby. He couldn't even say her name.

When something seemed to happen, when the vampire rulers decided to kill rene-something-or-other, he was hoping for something decent. To Klaus's dismay (or chagrin), nothing happened. There was no battle. No conflict. Nothing.

He couldn't find anything in him to prevent him from tearing out the pages this time.

* * *

To say that Klaus Baudelaire didn't like the Twilight series was an understatement.

It was usually hard for him to hate a book. But there were so many reasons to hate that series he couldn't seem to think of anything that he liked about it. Any decent character was either supposed to be horrible, or was ruined later. Like that one werewolf (shifter?) that ended up falling in love with the newborn baby.

He wished that he could have been warned about this. He wished that there could have been some kind of warning, like the ones in the books about the unfortunate children he read once...

His siblings, who had noticed his odd behavior were drawn outside by the smell of smoke.

Fire had effected them greatly through the unfortunate events that had happened to them not too long ago.

So it was no wonder that they were surprised to see their brother smiling at a bonfire in front of him.

He turned to look at them, still smiling.

"How about some marshmallows, Sunny?"

To say that those marshmallows were good, was also another understatement.


End file.
